New Dating Options

Where has the last week gone let alone the whole month of May?  I heard awhile back that that the Earth’s vibrational frequency was previously measured years ago at 7.8 hertz and now is over 11 hertz which would imply that if it feels like time is going faster, it literally is!

All and all, the last week has been good.  Based on my last post/experience, I decided to take all future potential dating prospects directly to coffee as the “pre-screen” to avoid any chances of predestined fate via email. And if that goes well, we can THEN move to wine, etc.  Because the last thing I want to do is fill up my house with trinkets or my thighs with Reese’s Peanut Butter cups.  20 minutes of coffee is painless, right? Right. And I honestly think it’s the best way for me to gauge in person chemistry anyway.  Let the games begin!  And with that said I actually had 2 good connections last week so we’ll see if either of them pans out. Wish me luck!

I’m also pleased to announce that I received my second marriage proposal! Wow! Am I on a roll or what?!  No, it wasn’t from another crazy first date, it was from a fellow blogger after he read my last post.  HA! 🙂  Hilarious, isn’t he?!  And when I read his comment, I literally laughed out loud and promptly replied with a resounding YES!!  I know, I know.  It’s spontaneous and maybe a little reckless but it just feels right so I’m going to go for it. Here’s to our future friendship, B! 😉

I have to admit, I love WordPress.  Not just for the outlet to be creative but for the really nice people I have met too.   Hey, maybe I’ll change my “About” page to resemble my online profile and see what kind of action I can drum up?? Kill 2 birds with 1 stone?  Really, who needs internet dating when you have a blog site?  I can upload some photos, talk about my ideal “mate”, etc.  Hmm.  The more I think about it, this could be a new added feature WP might want to consider on their next product/services road map.  Yep, one stop shopping for authentic writing AND true love. Brilliant!

Another dating avenue that dawned on me last week was hanging out at corporate cafeterias.  No, not loitering per se, although for some reason I just got a strange visual flash of myself standing outside some office building with a sign that says “Will date for food”.  🙂 See, my girlfriend invited me to lunch at her Fortune 500 work place and there was no one more excited to get all dressed up in my “work clothes” than the Executive.  He is sick of yoga pants and flip flops so any excuse for a skirt and heels is absolutely fine with him.  As I pull up to visitor parking, I can barely contain the excitement brewing inside me.  We walk into the cafeteria and it was honestly like I was a little girl on a field trip or something.  I was literally grinning from ear to ear and I could feel the energetic buzz of being back “in the zone” or maybe it was just being surrounded by people who had all had too much caffeine. But nonetheless, I for a brief hour was officially standing in the land of the living, I mean “working”.  You know, where people make decisions, solve important problems, change the world one email at a time?! Ok, maybe that last one is little far-fetched but you get my point.

I mean here I was, passing by other people who had likely spent their morning in back to back meetings and had overflowing voicemail boxes by noon.  Ah, good life.  And one the Executive still misses dearly every day. And then I realize, Hey, look at all of these good looking guys!!  As I stand in the buffet line, I think to myself, I’d like to have the Asian Chicken Salad and the tall dark and handsome gentlemen in the corner, please. To go. 🙂

Who needs online profiles when you can just have all of your girlfriends invite you to their companies so you can pick out a brand new man to date in person? Genius.  Thanks for lunch, G!!  I’ll definitely be back soon.

And speaking of profiles, I think I’m done with mine for now…the dating one not the blogging one that is. Because you know what I started to notice?  When there is a lull in the online action, Mr E and the Judge like put a new witness on the stand for cross examination, which unfortunately is me.  You know, stir up the pot with a few innocent questions, which leads to a nice dose of self-doubt and insecurity.

Let’s replay a conversation from last week after I reviewed a few thousand (no exaggeration) profiles and hardly received any responses to those I reached out to.

Hmm.  I wonder why I’m not getting any responses to the men that I winked at…maybe there is something wrong with my profile..or in essence me?  Well, I’m 40 now and it seems like more and more men my age are looking for younger women these days, a 25 year old, really?  And I’m also divorced so that might be a turn off to some.  I wonder what the divorce rate is in America these days?

Well, obviously, I have 2 kids and I’m sure some men have kid allergies or maybe still want to have some of their own??  Keep on moving, fellas.  Maybe my profile is too funny?  Or too serious in some places? It must be my wording is too direct and specific?  Should I be more vague and casual?

Maybe my pictures aren’t fun enough, or sexy enough or attractive enough?  Is it that I didn’t list skiing as one of my hobbies?  Skiing is a popular sport but I’m just not into it.  I’d rather sit in the lodge with a good book and cup of cocoa.  They can go freeze their asses off all day long and come back and tell me all about it.

I know, I didn’t finish college and I hate when I have to “officially” list that so maybe they don’t think I’m smart enough?  Why is it 20 years later regardless of one’s accomplishments, many people are still hung up on intelligence as measured by a piece of paper?  I really don’t like internet dating and I don’t think this is ever going to work.

Let’s face it, if I am “judging” someone in 1-3 seconds, everyone is likely doing the same.  And sometimes when I look at someone’s profile and I see what their “ideal” date criteria is that doesn’t match with me, Mr. E likes to get a nice little “Loser” jab in just for his entertainment. And sometimes it hurts.

But I also know, jumping into this adventure is good opportunity for growth and learning regardless if Mr. Right comes out of it all or not.  See, as I closed out my last blog, I didn’t touch on what I noticed most about myself during that little episode which was that I totally held up my own boundaries which is a huge thing for me.

See, in the past, I might not have been as direct in my communication with him and I might have even caved into a second date just because I felt bad for him. Or I would have felt like it was my fault this was happening and I must have “done” something to give him the vibe that I had feelings for him or whatever.  In the past, I would have definitely for sure felt like I needed to fix it all afterwards and make sure he was really ok.

But do you want to know what?  I didn’t end up doing a thing in this whole scenario which is a total victory!!  Throughout the entire 2 hour evening, even with bells and all, it never rattled me.  I didn’t feel the need to take “responsibility” for anything that was happening because I was just along for the ride.  I felt completely grounded and was more in my observer mode then pulled into the potential drama of it all.  I am actually really glad I had that experience because it was an opportunity for me to see just how far I have come over the last few years in these areas. And progress always feels good.  Now I just have to figure out what to do with this little box..

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4 Responses to New Dating Options

  1. Andrew says:

    Going on a second date just to make him feel better? Wow…you must be a saint. A saint that can date, but a saint all the same.

  2. Brad says:

    Good progress. This isn’t exactly the same thing, but lately I’ve gotten much better at not worrying about what the other person thinks of me and just experiencing the moment and observing them. The problem is, that now that my focus is shifted outward, I find that a lot of people just aren’t all that interesting. 🙂

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