Hi, I’m back! It’s been 19 days since my last post and I originally thought I’d catch you up on what I’ve been up to the last couple of weeks but I have a far more pressing issue to discuss. Unfortunately, today I’m not writing alone. I’m being held hostage against my will by a pretty shady character. And by the size of this “being” that appeared on my lip yesterday, I’m pretty sure I now qualify as “2 persons” and thus can drive in the carpool lane as well. Yep, it’s not pretty and I might as well figure out a name for it because based on past history, it is going to be staying awhile.
I don’t know how many of you have ever had a cold sore, fever blister, herpes simplex number whatever, but I sadly have had them since childhood and come to think of it, I feel like I can recall a few past lives when I got them too. There definitely must be some lesson here and I’d give just about anything to finally learn it in order to clear my DNA strand and soul contract of these damn things. Hmm, maybe I had leprosy in one lifetime and I’m still not able to get over the public shame of feeling like a freak show when one breaks out.
And of course, you know who celebrates his long lost friend because Mr. E knows it’s such a nice, quick hit on the old self esteem button. If I could hide out for a week, I definitely would but that would be too easy. Yep, no such luck. I wouldn’t even make it a few days based on the small amount of food in my fridge. So at a minimum, I’m going to need to go to the store but think I can cancel just about everything else. Oh, yes. This one a doosey. I need a full fledged disguise but that feels like a lot of effort since I still have a little fever so I’m not up for a big production here. I guess I’ll just grab a baseball cap, put it on as low as possible and refuse to make eye contact with anyone. Just keep your head down, Mr. E says and no one will get hurt. Yeah, right. Obviously, I won’t have any lipstick on either so I’m really hoping my invisibility super power is in full effect. There is truly nothing worse than a cold sore as there absolutely is nowhere to run or hide when your lip swells, then blisters and finally scabs up all over a painfully slow long week process. Are you getting a visual here? It S-U-C-K-S. As in super Sucks.
It’s strange as this little outbreak definitely caught me by surprise because it’s honestly been a few years since I can remember getting one so large and in charge. Too bad I didn’t get it BEFORE I filed my taxes because I would have claimed it as a dependent. See, I used to get them like clock work. 2 weeks after every quarter end or when I had a super stressful situation or a few weeks with not enough sleep. Yes, I always chalked it up to stress something or other but since they had died down over the last couple years, I thought energetically I might have finally conquered the beast. YAY! Well, obviously not.
And since it is a total entity amongst itself, it definitely has a mind of its own. Like late last night, when I ran to Whole Foods to get something, it said, “I want a Chocolate Chip Cookie”. What? It’s 9:45PM. No. But he was persistent and since I was feeling low, I ended up giving in. So as I make my way up to the self serve bakery cookie section, it then said, “And I’ll take a Peanut Butter one too”. Wow. 2 cookies? Really? The store was closing in 5 minutes and I really didn’t have the energy to argue about it so I got both and said, Ok “Herp”, you can have 1/2 of each and save the rest for tomorrow. And guess what? When we got home, he completely ignored me and proceeded to finish BOTH cookies just to show me who’s boss. And honestly, when he’s here, he IS boss and my whole life revolves around figuring out how to get rid of him as fast as possible.
Yes, today I’m on a mission today to destroy him but first, Mr. E wants to figure out what has brought this little gift so he can have someone or thing to blame. So for the last 24 hours, I’ve been racking my brain for the culprit. The standard mode of blame operation is first to point the finger closest to home, Myself. Well, I have been a little under the weather and did have a fever yesterday but think this was after the initial sneak attack appeared so that’s probably not it. But clearly I haven’t been taking “good enough” care of my immune system for a whole host of reasons so let’s go down the potential list…Lack of sleep? Maybe. Dehydration from a weekend hike? Could be. Emotional stress release? Probably. Chemical body imbalance? Definitely. Too many vitamin supplements? Likely. Not enough vitamin supplements? Absolutely. Anything else resonating? That should do for now.
Ok, well then if that covers that, let’s move on to blaming someone else for triggering it as well. Super. My chiropractic adjustment? For sure. Missy’s dog germs? Figures. (Did I mention I’m dog sitting for 10 days, but that’s another story), The lip workout I had last weekend? I.e. make out session (Yes, miracle of all miracles, I had a couple of dates since I last wrote which I’ll save for another time too). The IRS or my tax payment? Ok, that was definitely painful. Too much sun? Ah, yes, it was the weather AND not enough chapstick! Or maybe it’s the economy? Huh? Or a nervous breakout from the lack of incoming salary? Ok, I can definitely see that. Hmm. Maybe it’s world peace? Nope, I don’t see any correlation to that one at the moment. But, I’m sure there must be something that brought this nasty ass thing and Mr E isn’t going to stop until he finds it. And in the meantime, let’s just blame it on the universe in general because I’m sure it’s a sign of something I did do or didn’t do or should have, could have, or would have done but didn’t. Yep, it’s my fault, I definitely brought this on myself and regardless I’m stuck with it now so I might as well quite whining about it and figure out how to kill this thing asap.
Great. Now what? The student comes in and says, let’s hit the internet for some new suggestions and figure out how to blast this thing off. And ta-da, with the help of Google, I find this site named http://www.earthclinic.com where I can tell you Cold Sore Remedies is quite a popular subject. Not only was it fascinating to hear all of the crazy remedies that people have tried over the years but at the same time I found it totally comforting to hear the stories of desperation that everyone else has experienced at one time or another doing battle with these demons. I think we should start a support group. HA? Reading all of these posts was like a community bonding session that gave me hope, encouragement, inspiration and also a little fear. Acetone? Really?
See, there were lots of suggestion that I already knew about like the standard over the counter ointments like Abreva or Valtrex prescription or Lysine supplements but I’ve missed the initial break out stage which seemed to happen in the middle of the night so I needed to get more aggressive. The one solution that surprised me the most was the very popular recommendation of applying acetone plus a clear coat of nail polish over the breakout which seemed downright crazy but I honestly couldn’t believe the number of people that had tried it and swore it was the magic solution! Well, minus the few that claimed chemical burns/scarring. Yikes! I’m not sure I’m that brave to go there…yet. But not to worry, there are pages and pages of literally over a hundred different solutions that people either claimed victory or defeat that I could try instead.
Well, after reading over an hour of these recommendations on just the first couple of pages, I’ve decided to go the natural route and I’m going to try and burn this bastard off with some apple cider vinegar. Why not? You know what they say (and many agreed on the site), no pain, no gain. And as every person agreed, we all are willing to do just about anything to rid of them. Hmm. Maybe this hidden lesson has nothing to do with leprosy, maybe it has to do with a lifetime of torture and self inflected pain? But at this point, I’ve got nothing to lose (it’s actually pulsating as I type and it’s only day 2) and how bad can it hurt, right?
Wrong. Talk about stinging, WOWZA! I dug up some Bragg’s ACV (as they call it on the site), soaked a cotton ball and reveled in the pain in some sick twisted kinda way. And it’s not just one application, it’s supposed to be applied like every 30-60 minutes for 5-8 hours kinda thing. See, these little wicked buggers are determined and it’s like 12 rounds before a winner is declared. But I definitely know one thing for sure, Herp is now totally pissed off now and I can tell it’s going to be a long night. I think I better take a break and run to Trader Joe’s to get some soup for dinner. And I can already tell we are going to have a battle over dessert as he is already demanding some Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups to help make us feel better. But I’m going to be stronger tonight and put my foot down.
Sigh. I don’t know what is worse, the throbbing or the extra calories I am going to have to sacrifice before he leaves. Wish me luck.