Today is the big day! Yep, my oil change outing. WOO-HOO. Ok, that’s just sad. I’m not sure what I’m getting so excited about, being productive or leaving my house. Either way, I’m definitely concerned about myself. But regardless, it enabled me to at least attempt half of the beautification process which has really fallen by the way side these days. It’s funny because I’ve become so low, ok, no maintenance on the whole beauty routine, that after I put on a little of the basics I heard a voice say, “There she is.” Where who is? Me? Um, I’ve been standing here the whole time. Ah, I get it. The “attractive me” because it seems without a little help from my pure pressed powder friends, apparently I’m invisible. Interesting. Note to self, I think that could actually be a good thing because invisibility is definitely an important superpower that could really come in handy in certain situations.
And since I also decided make a little effort in the shower too, I indulged and shaved my legs. I know wild and crazy huh? So I might as well get some use out of these smooth beauties and get pedicure as well. See, I really do treat myself kindly. 🙂 Be kind to myself – Day #2. Check.
So, now I’m coming to you live via Toyota Sunnyvale with my freshly painted piggies. And do you want to know what it smells like in here? The New Car Smell. Heavenly! Ah, Mr. P would have loved to be here because you know, every car in this showroom is brand new and well, perfectly perfect. I’m not sure if you heard but I sent him to rehab. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. It was time and it’s a good program. The Addict went through it too for the workaholic thing and came out reformed, refreshed and reconnected to a higher power. And I’m going to send him a care package with some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups because they are his favorite. The perfect ratio of chocolate to peanut butter.
I’m sitting in the corner of the showroom because the lounge was pretty full already which was fine with me because it had this strange odor of car parts, oil and bad coffee all mixed together. But they did have the Christmas tree air freshener in the miscellaneous accessory section that was calling my name. That was exactly what I needed during my Peet’s field trip blog a couple weeks so maybe I should pick one up for future visits. Yep, I’m just going to kick back here next to this sparklingly clean white mini-van and keep a low profile.
They said it should take about an hour so that doesn’t sound too bad. Just the right amount of time to whip out my trusty laptop and write a little bit. They have an 80’s sound track playing. Nice. I sat down to Men at Work, I tried to connect to Wi-Fi with Phil Collins, then gave up and am using MS Word to..hmm, I can’t remember the last song but now I’m finger tapping to Blondie’s Rapture. Ah, the 80’s. So glad that’s over. 🙂 Nothing against them personally but who really wants to relive middle school and high school? Not me.
And I’m going to keep on loving you, because it’s the only thing I wanna to do. I don’t want to sleep, I just want to keep on loving you. Opps, Sorry. Clearly there is a new song playing and these wires are getting crossed in my head. This flashback thing is starting to get a little crowded upstairs. I keep losing my place as I’m editing the last couple of paragraphs. Now, I’m listening to the The King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson. Dirty Diana. Good one.
Ok, this is never going to work. See, here is the problem. I’m either singing in my head or taking a trip down memory lane to whichever point in my life that this music reminds me of which is making it incredibly hard to think and type at the same time. Is any of this even making sense? I have never been the kind of person that was able to work/type AND listen to music together. Because when there is good music on, I’d rather sing and break out my best dance moves then mentally focus on whatever else I’m supposed to be doing that is never quite as entertaining.
How do I know when it’s love? I can’t tell you, but it lasts forever. Nope, that wasn’t me either. It was Sammy Hagar. Or is this Van Halen or Sammy Hagar when he was with Van Halen? I really never kept up. Great. I’m trying to stick to a cohesive thought process but I definitely can’t do it with this XM Station playing in the background. Can someone please turn it down? Because each time I try to go back to reread a bit of what I just typed, the music is scrambling my brain waves!!! No, only in my dreams, as real as it may seem, it was only in my dreams. Hmm. Is this all just a dream?
Ok. I truly can’t do this. Guess, we’ll forget about the blog today because I need to pack when I get home because I’m going on a road trip with my sis tomorrow. But I know I had something really important to talk about today but this just won’t work in here. Come to think about it, I have only ever sat and waited for an oil change once before so what am I even doing here in the first place? Ah, the drop off/pick up dilemma that was it. Super freak. Sorry, it’s Rick James and how can we deny this classic. She’s a very kinky girl, the kind you don’t take home to mother. He sings it like Muth-thar. Which doesn’t come across authentically if I just type “mother”. You remember right it? Oh my it would be so great if we could mix this with MC Hammer’s Can’t Touch This, right? Now, this is totally out of control. I’m just going to close my laptop right now because these voices are talking in my head all at once. Sing along with me. She’s alright, She’s alright, She’s alright, that girl’s alright with me. Yeah. Heh, Heh, Heh, Hey!
Whoa. Hey, want to know what happened to Nina Blackwell? Remember her? She was one of the first MTV VJ’s. Well, I had no I idea what she has been up to until this very moment when she just come over the loud speakers as the host of this 80’s XM Radio Station! Amazing. I wonder if she is stuck, you know, stuck in some kind of time warp? I can see her now still with the big blonde 80’s permed hair, off the one shoulder sweatshirts and leg warmers.
Ok, Fine. Let’s get serious. I want to tell you my life story. Ready? See, I always wanted to be a ballet dancer but I never had any formal training. So I worked in a steel mill as a wielder and the owner of the company (who was a totally hot guy) found out I was the only female working in his factory and that I loved to dance and well, he ended up pulling some string for me with the Ballet board and I finally got the audition! Alright, I’m busted. That’s not my real life story. It’s the Flashdance plot, remember? Hello Nina? I wanted to call and make a song request, What a feeling by Irene Cara please. 🙂
Great. It’s official. I’m losing it and I need some air. This new car smell is going to tempt Mr. P right out of detox just for a little whiff. I think I’m starting to get dizzy. Yes, I’m fading fast. Huey Lewis? Is that you? Cause She’s heart and Soul. Is that a message for me? From the universe? She’s hot and cold and she’s got it all. Yes! Yes! It’s a sign. This is for me. I’ve got it all! Hot loving every night. Nope, not for me. No hot loving happening at my house. You’ve definitely got the wrong girl, I’m single remember? Next!! I’ve got the hippy hippy shakes? Huh? Shake it to the left, shake it to the right do the hippy shake shake with all your might. Is this really from the 80’s? Absolutely zero clue who sings this song. What is a hippy shake anyway? Hmm. I’m not feeling so well now. I think I need some water.
So now I come to you, with open arms, nothing to hide, believe what I say, so here I am, with open Arms. Spirit? Is that you? Disguised as Steve Perry from Journey? Yes, I can see the light. Hoping you’ll see what your love means to me, open arms. I’m starting to getting choked up now. Does this mean that when I love myself you are there for me? Every time I think of you, I always catch my breath. And I ain’t missing you at all, since you been gone away, I ain’t missing you at all no matter what my friends say. The artist isn’t coming to be but I’d like to dedicate this song to Mr. P. Alright. Enough already!
Goo, Goo, Goo, Gah, Gah, Gah. Yep, it’s definitely the Police and I think I need to call them too because I’m starting to feel myself in some funky vortex. Yes, I definitely need some help quickly. I’m dialing 911. Hello, I’m not feeling well and I’m located at Toyota Sunnyvale on El Camino Real. Yes, please send an ambulance but let me put on some lipstick first because otherwise you won’t be able to see me. 🙂