World’s oldest profession

Hi, I’m back!  Coming to you live from my new writing room! (AKA meditation room).  Well, I have unpacked all my books (sans bookcase as they are stacked all over the floor) so it’s also going to be my new reading room too!  I’m broadening it up so I can really get some good use out of it because I realized after my post last week, it’s a total shame I’m not spending more time in here. It’s such a nice room!  So it’s now officially, my Reading/Writing/Meditation room.  Or hey, how about calling it my rumpus room instead?  Even though, I’m not exactly sure what rumpus means, I think I need some of it.

Side note: Just as I take a drink of my blueberry breakfast smoothie, I put it down on the bamboo mat (Did I also mention the new bamboo mat in my room description last Friday?) which is bumpy and the very tall glass of purple sticky liquid tips over.  Sh*t!  I’m so sad.  Not just for my perfect mat that is no longer perfect but for the loss of my yummy smoothie too. 😦 First new rule of the rumpus room: No food or beverages ALLOWED!

Anyway, all cleaned up (and don’t worry, no stain 🙂 ) so back to the books.  I truly can not believe how many books I have!! Wow.  I have a serious reading problem. Is there a program for that?  Readers Anonymous maybe?  And this is only 1/2 of them.  I decided before I moved last summer I was going to donate 1/2 of my books to the library. Gulp.  That was super painful. 10 huge big huge boxes and bags hauled to the library and left like orphans in a cold dark room.

See, I have an emotional attachment to books. I love them.  Each and every one of them. They are like children to me, each so very special and unique.  And when I am reading, we bond together, like a little part of me gets infused into them and all of their amazing knowledge pours right into every cell of my being.  This is one of the reasons why I can’t go to the library.  I don’t want to give them back.  And frankly, another reason I can sometimes hesitate to lend them out.  I’m worried I they won’t come back home and I will really super miss their mere presence of being in my book case just in case I need to hold them.  I’d honestly rather buy you one instead than give you mine.  Then we both have our own to love and cherish! YAY! Win-Win! 🙂

And well, I must say, of course, I’ve also got a little obsessive compulsive thing going on about those brand new beauties too. When I purchase a new book, I love the fact that it is well….brand new.  Let me tell you a little secret.  When I go to the bookstore, I’ll stand there and read all of the titles in that section, waiting for right one to jump out at me.  When it does, I’ll flip through to see if it speaks to me.  (Yes, actually, I can hear it say, “Read me, Read me” or “Nope, not so much”)  Then, if I like it, I’ll take the one from the middle or if there is only 1-2 copies, I’ll check them both out carefully to get the one that looks well… least fondled.  I prefer my books unopened, untouched and completely unenergized with someone else’s juju.  Crisp and clean with no caffeine. (Can you tell that I watched a lot of TV as kid?)

And if I already know which book I want, well, then there is only one word for me.  Amazon.  What can be better than getting it from a warehouse where anyone has barely touched it AND have delivered to your house in 2 days with free shipping?! (Amazon Prime Member Baby! and I’ll save the discount subject for another time)  I have a personal relationship with my UPS guy because he is over here several times a week.  (Ok, not like that kinda relationship, he’s a super nice guy but not my type.)  I order everything possible off Amazon because if it can save me a trip to the store or the mall, sign me up. (Remember, my masculine energy HATES to go shopping) It’s genius.  Want to hear something crazy?  Do you know how many books I ordered on my first week off work. One a day.  Literally.  It’s now come down to a daily habit.  Because every day I heard about something new I wanted to know more about, so I would order a book!  I’m an complete addict.  And I really need to get some help.  Maybe someone could arrange an intervention?

And alright, already!  Fine.  I’ll admit that too.  There is a piece of me that loves that brand spankin’ new book because well … it’s you know… perfect. 🙂 Ah, bliss for a few brief moments as I’m opening it.  In the not so distant past, I would never write, highlight, underline, dog ear, page wrinkle ANY of my books. It felt like graffiti.  A rude defacement of personal property!  But since I have been working on this perfectionist thing over the last few years, I have encouraged (ok, forced) myself to highlight and bend the corners of pages for reference (and it also serves as a basic form of self inflicted shock therapy).  Plus, when I want to go back to find something it later, I can go straight to the important parts so let’s dress it all up in the name of “efficiency” to ease the pain.  The only sad part about this for me was the recent realization that when I was donating some of these books, the library won’t take the highlighted books so I had…I had to..sniffle, sniffle…to throw them away in the recycle bin. I was completely devastated.  Hang on, I need some tissue….

Ok, let’s focus.  Back to my books, I’m debating on how to organize them.

I can arrange them by author’s name which would be efficient or by size which would be aesthetically pleasing to look at.  Or I can arrange them by subject which would be the best way to find things quickly.  Good idea.  By subject, then by author’s last name.

Well, if I do it that way, should it be by general subject like “Business” or by subtopic like Sales, Marketing, Leadership, etc?  And if I arrange it by subtopic then there may be lots of little topics which might make it more confusing to find something if it is mis-categorized. How about back to the general topic idea and make labels for the subtopics so they get filed correctly?

Either way works.

What is the rule for a subtopic labels?  Does every book get a subtopic label? Or only if there is more than one book within that general subject? Do I still then organize alphabetical by author’s name within the subtopic or the general subject? Do I have room to put labels on the shelf, you know like the real book store?

Ok, now, I need to create some labels.  But it needs to look nice.  Maybe I should purchase a label maker? But before that, I still need to buy the bookcase first.  What type of bookcase should I get? Wood, metal, plastic?    Should I get a tall slender one to keep one side of the closet open or get a short wide one that will take up the width of the closet? Let me take some measurements because will help me figure out my best options.

Whichever you prefer.

Wow.  There is a lot to consider here and this project is more complicated than I thought. Let’s check the Internet for options.  Should I get it from Target or have it shipped from Amazon?  Do I want it right now or can I wait a few days?  Hmm. Too many choices.   Let’s put this off and do something else. Well,  I didn’t finish my laundry from last week.  I keep stepping across the piles that have been sitting in my room for days and I’m getting tired of that.  Let’s forget about the books for now. Let’s go back to the laundry.  We need some time to figure out the right book case and organization system.

Whew, I’m exhausted just thinking about it. But at the heart of it all is a pure love and serious respect for books and what they represent emotionally.  I always treat my books with tender loving care because they feel truly sacred to me. As I look back now at all of the stacks of books against the wall, (that are clearly going to be there a while) and my heart soars.  I love these books because I am a Seeker.  I love, love, love to learn and explore the vast knowledge of the universe.  There is a part of me that is not only naturally inquisitive to understand the details of how things work but it is also in search of the deep meaning. You know, just like my pal Superman. The search for truth, justice and the American way.  Well, maybe the universal way.

The Seeker is usually attached to my Soul and especially my spiritual quest but sometimes when Mr. E starts to feel lonely, he likes to crash the love fest.  He enjoys seeing if he can rain on my parade (because I don’t usually carry an umbrella).  But he just wants to protect me, you know, give me a nice stylish waterproof coat made of doubt and insecurity about my knowledge or capabilities to keep us safe.  But I am getting really good at spotting him coming and can now run for cover.  I mean, Hey, I haven’t purchased a book on how to “write” yet or how to work this darn wordpress site.  Can I get a pat on the back for that?  Thank you.  It’s a major breakthrough for me.

You know what just occurred to me. What if I run out of money and I couldn’t afford to buy any more books?  Hmm.  Good question.  Worst case is if I don’t go back to corporate, I think I would have to become a prostitute.  Yes, I would have sex to get money to buy books.  Or I could have sex for books or a Barnes & Noble gift card. (Kills 2 birds with 1 stone, no?)  Of course, I would not accept any old book, they would need to be brand new expensive hard cover New York Times Best-Selling Books!

I can just picture it now, standing on a street corner in Los Altos (ok, there are probably no decent pimps around here so I’d likely have to move), looking super slutty in my 6 inch high heel shoes, short tight skirt that barely covers my ass, super low cut top with my cleavage hanging…. Oh great. (Now, what?!) I have no cleavage.  Hmm.  Can you be a good prostitute and make any money if you have small breasts?  Probably not. Come to think of it, I don’t think I have ever seen a prostitute with an A cup. (Not that I have seen a ton of prostitutes in my life but you know, like the ones on TV)  Now, I’m really screwed and never going to make any money OR have new any books!

Looks like I’ll be totally desperate at that point.  I’m starting to get the shakes just thinking about it.  Maybe I’m going to need to sell some of this stuff in my meditation room to finance the breast implants because no matter what happens to me, I certainly can’t live without books.  Yep, who would have guessed. It turns out I am a writer and a book whore too. 🙂

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This entry was posted in Soul, The Seeker, The Student and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to World’s oldest profession

  1. Padma says:

    I finally caught up to March 12th 🙂

    You are funny 🙂 in your writing

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